It’s almost two in the morning. I can’t sleep. I’m not the least bit sleepy. So I went onto Craigslist to see if anybody was selling some oddball film cameras (somebody is! I’d link to it but Craigslist links expire, y’know) and I saw some people trying to sell used digital cameras at a profit. It really annoyed me. (I’m typing this on my phone wit my tums).
I haven’t done any quality trolling in a while, so I decided to try and troll some of these no-good swindlers by creating my own post about how terrible the asking prices on these cameras are. I used to do this A LOT a few years ago. It would make people (read: dishonest sellers) really mad. But people would email me and thank me. Not joking.
When I sold my cherished 40gb 4th generation on Craigslist, it was to a Mexican man who wanted a nice gift for his preteen daughter. This was well after iPods exploded in popularity and advanced by leaps and bounds into smaller sizes, with touch screens and flash storage. I sold it for fifty bucks. Which is less than what it was typically fetching on eBay at the time. I gave him cords and headphones and every case I ever bought for it. It was some circle of life stuff. It made me genuinely happy. In fact, for years I kept the original docking station that came with the iPod (side note! Remember when iPods came with stuff!) and whenever I’d see it in my closet I’d think “ah man! I forgot to give this to that guy! Can I track him down?” It was like that scene from Schindler’s List where he was like “oh snap I coulda saved Hella more Jews if I’d sold my ring and whatnot. My bad, fam.”
Okay I’m not only deliberately misquoting Oskar Schindler, but I’m definitely a bad person for comparing myself to him. And I’m a suuuuuper bad person for deliberately linking you to an unrelated scene from Schindler’s List.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, when I think of somebody being taken advantage of on Craigslist, I think of that sweet Mexican man. I’m happy he saw my ad and not some other jerk’s. Any other doofus would have been like “This cost 450 bucks after tax when I got it (around the time John Kerry got swiftboated) I’m asking for $300 or I’ll trade for an iPhone 3G. Totally fair.”
I’d link you to the Craigslist posts, but. First of all, nobody is reading this. And secondofly, like I said, Craigslist ads expire. Enjoy a screen shot, I used an actual clickity clackity computer to grab it for yas.
And just like my OKCupid profile, if you find the hidden Arrested Development quote in this post I’ll buy you lunch.
Also, I just remembered this.